Life Events         Special Days

Twenty-Day

This custom originated within the school of Epicurean philosophy.  Although Rational Hedonism eventually branched out, it has continued to honor Epicurus by what has evolved to be a monthly dinner party/"Thanksgiving"-style meal where friends and/or family are invited. Rational Hedonism is about enjoying the simple pleasures of life, which includes surrounding yourself with people you like and enjoying good company, good conversation, and good food. In a hectic world of everyone in the family on different schedules, parents and kids alike unable to tear away from texting for even a half hour, and fast food or microwavable dinners, Rational Hedonism says, "Stop! Time Out!".

Home cooked food doesn't contain the hydrogenated fats and super sugared or salted ingredients, the apartment/home is bathed in mouth-watering smells, Cell phones off, gradually unwinding and catching up and reconnecting with those in your circle. 

Day of Lament

Last Saturday in July - Many events combined to bring about the deterioration of the Greek empire. One of these was the death of Alexander the Great. But as to changes from within, nothing spelled the beginning of the end more than the verdict of Theodosius, decreeing only Christianity would be the accepted religion of the now Roman empire. Greeks loved to ponder theories and debate, and were open to other paths of thought. Since the time of Jesus of Nazareth death on the cross, there was healthy, open debate as to whether He and God were equal, or whether the Holy Spirit entered Him at baptism and left on the cross, the difference between the disciples who'd known Him and Paul's teachings. There were Greeks who even added Him to their other deities.

Suddenly there was a list of what had been decided was true, period. No more discussion. For early Christianity it caused splintering still going on today. For everyone else, it was the beginning of dark times bringing persecution, torturing, conquering nations and death. Statues were covered up with fig leafs, scrolls burned, an entire people's culture, language and art destroyed. Original thinkers, men of science, inventors, killed. - throughout the world over and over again - as the dark age of the church spread. All in the name of the "Holy" Church and for the glory of it's God and Son.

So this day is a day of mourning. A day we allow ourselves to feel sadness for the loss of the times of reason, debate and open-minded-ness. To think of those who's ideas, music, art and inventions were never gifted to us, along with the hope that perhaps in these more recent times, thanks to modern creations such as the internet, people throughout the world can come together online to discuss, exchange ideas and good-natured debate.

Life Events

Childhood

Birth

​For each of us, the world begins the day we are born.  Every living person is here, against difficult odds. Every child comes from the combination of two sets of DNA, creating an entirely unique person. While every day of life is a privilege, the day yours started is most special. In Rational Hedonism, a newborn or adopted child is brought into the home with joy,

Traditionally, a newborn (including adopted babies) is lightly massaged using olive oil as soon as possible. Wreaths, once traditionally of olive leaves, were hung on the door or doorknob; but in modern times,      wreaths can be made of any leaves (from ivy to palms).  It is still common to entwine a woolen ribbon or hair band from the wreath if it is a girl, or some other small token to announce a  boy.

 

Each child, a miracle of life, is born from the unique combination of two sets of DNA. In the path of Rational Hedonism, a newborn or adopted child is welcomed into the home with joy, surrounded by family and close friends. They are presented at the hearth fire of the home, given their name, and introduced to the rooms of the home. Raising a child is considered a sacred responsibility, their adaptive brain learning the language, ideology, culture, and beliefs of those around them. Though they are your child, one raises a child to be the future adult, carrying on the family line, history, wisdom, and traditions.

Amphidromia and Naming Ceremony 

In ancient days, the amphidromia or celebration of the Hearth was on the baby's fifth day of life, and the Naming Day was on the tenth (after the baby showed itself healthy enough to survive).  Nowadays, the two are combined. On the fifth day, the amphidromia is held.  The head of the house invites close family and friends to the festive event, those they hope will have a positive, educational influence during their child's life.  The baby is presented before the symbolic hearth fire of the home and the parent(s) officially announce the child's full name (as well as any personal meaning behind it).

The baby is introduced to the main rooms, publicly welcoming them as a member of the family home.
  Those present understand that they are being entrusted with a sacred responsibility; a child's adaptive brain quickly picks up the language(s), ideology, culture and beliefs of these close people around them.

Unlike the popular Platonic view that your child belongs to the state, we believe there is no substitute for the loving parent who personally know best their child's (whether by birth, adoption or foster) personal, educational, psychological and creative needs. Parents raise a child with their values to be the future adult, as well as carrying on the family line and history, family wisdom and traditions. 

Coming of Age Ceremony 

Rite of passage - for girls it happens some time after the onset of menstruation and is similar to Quinceañera; for boys it takes place at age 14, and is a cross between Bar Mitzvah or Confirmation. A rite of passage that recognizes the boy is becoming a man, and needs to learn how to be a good man... a girl has much female knowledge to learn from the women.

Adult

Marriage

    Weddings are a personal celebration between any couple who love and pledge a commitment to each other, and they get to define what that means. It is up to them on how casual, formal or cultural it will be.  

   In ancient Greek weddings the bride traditionally wore white, and that has been carried on through Victorian times as a symbol of purity and virginity.  Because Rational Hedonism also developed in other cultures once it left Greece, it adopted an acceptance of more colorful garb. Whether in a sash, within the train, or on the dress or suit itself, there is often a splash of color, whether the bride's favorite color, or to match a color theme.

Another popular symbol is the use of crowns like royalty (still used in Orthodox Greek weddings), a ribbon connecting the couple, uniting the couple's individuality, their successful lineage, to unite in love, creating something more with the combined strength of two.

      During the ceremony, both parents or close friends may accompany the bride on one side, either in solemn silence or with song, while the groom’s side does the same. This procession symbolizes two distinct families joining to form a new one, honoring both their histories and their future together.

On Death:

     Rational Hedonism diverges from the traditional notions of an afterlife as seen in Zoroastrian and Abrahamic religions, which often involve some form of judgment and sorting of souls. Instead, Rational Hedonism posits a more naturalistic view: the cessation of brain activity marks the end of the individual’s consciousness and ability to “feel” sensations for any eternal bliss or torment, experiences and begins the process of the body’s physical breakdown. While there won’t be any eternal bliss, there will also be no eternal torment; instead, a natural return to the basic elements. This perspective emphasizes the finality of death, steering clear of the metaphysical and focusing on the tangible.  

     But, the anxiety and fears surrounding a death that happens at The End can interrupt and interfere with truly enjoying the moments of all the life you have now. You don’t have to wait for things to get better, or until you are rich, you can have a meaningful life whether it’s short or long. You have been gifted with the incredible opportunity to experience life - from simple pleasures to enjoying sunrises, sunsets, places of beauty, discovery, pets, love, family, friendships, your talents, learning, even work, living on your own terms. Rational Hedonism encourages making the most of the time we have, focusing on the here and now. 

     Our actions as well as inactions, the words we chose to use, simple acts of generosity or spending time with someone, our creations and memories, are the footprints we leave behind, we ultimately choose if the footprint of our life is good or bad. They shape the story of humanity and influence future generations.  

     We are mortal, we are human, we are fragile beings in this world. Too often, the life of someone we love is taken without warning or a chance to express our love, respect or feelings. We are all under the illusion we have more time, when one day, through tragedy or old age, we run out of time. 

Epicurus' Quote On Death

"Accustom yourself to believing that death is nothing to us, for good and evil imply the capacity for sensation, and death is the privation of all sentience;

therefore, a correct understanding that death is nothing to us makes the mortality of life enjoyable, not by adding to life a limitless time, but by taking away the yearning after immortality.

For life has no terrors for him who has thoroughly understood that there are no terrors for him in ceasing to live.

Foolish, therefore, is the man who says that he fears death, not because it will pain when it comes, but because it pains in the prospect.

Whatever causes no annoyance when it is present, causes only a groundless pain in the expectation.

Death, therefore, the most awful of evils, is nothing to us, seeing that, when we are, death is not come, and, when death is come, we are not.

It is nothing, then, either to the living or to the dead, for with the living it is not and the dead exist no longer.

But in the world, at one time men shun death as the greatest of all evils, and at another time choose it as a respite from the evils in life.

The wise man does not deprecate life nor does he fear the cessation of life.

The thought of life is no offense to him, nor is the cessation of life regarded as an evil.

And even as men choose of food not merely and simply the larger portion, but the more pleasant, so the wise seek to enjoy the time which is most pleasant and not merely that which is longest.

And he who admonishes the young to live well and the old to make a good end speaks foolishly, not merely because of the desirability of life, but because the same exercise at once teaches to live well and to die well.

Much worse is he who says that it were good not to be born, but when once one is born to pass quickly through the gates of Hades. For if he truly believes this, why does he not depart from life? It would be easy for him to do so once he were firmly convinced.

If he speaks only in jest, his words are foolishness as those who hear him do not believe.

We must remember that the future is neither wholly ours nor wholly not ours, so that neither must we count upon it as quite certain to come nor despair of it as quite certain not to come." 

Epicurus

Hesperides Ceremonies

Why wait until someone special is gone before bringing loved ones together? Hesperides (Sunset) Ceremonies celebrate and highlight the fun and happiness, tears and sadness, anecdotes and life stories. Let people know how much they are loved, what they've meant to you, what they've given. It's not for dying, or the old, it can be for a major move, or life changing thing. For elderly R.H.ers, it can be a chance to give away special gifts, the emerald necklace and the story that goes with it to a granddaughter, signed books, figurines or family dishes. This is a much more gentler way of family then waiting until death and squabbling over things. This is done with love and allows the person the joy of giving and seeing the face of the one being given to, and is part of a letting go process for all. (Of course, some things won't actually be taken until later).

Celebration of Life

When death comes, it is a goodbye to someone loved, a presence in your life no longer there. In all history past, they did not exist, for a brief time their life here burned, then flickered, winked out, and now for all future to come, again do not exist. Rational Hedonists value life and mourn death, but ensure their loved ones are not forgotten, and memorialized in a fitting way.